A Lesson Learned

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I had a little talk with Kyler today.  One thing I said to him was that I had a feeling we would have many more talks like this in the future. 

So here's how it went down: First of all, you need to know that Kyler loves getting food out of the fridge for us.  When we start making meals, he gets in there and gets anything that sounds good to him out. It's usually ranch, jelly (every single jar of it that we have), pickles (he never eats those, but for some reason he always has to get them out), apples, peppers...and other random things. He also has a hard time leaving the kitchen while we cook and can get in the way so it gets a little exasperating. 

This evening when I was making our supper, he runs in there and gets all excited about the things I'm getting out.  I was done with the fridge and so he needed to be too, because I couldn't stand there and monitor him with it.  He keeps on looking for an apple because I had mentioned it, so I kept trying to tell him that I already got one out. I never showed it to him. 

(Stay with me here. It gets better. I think...if anything is better than food. ;) )

Kyler gets out of the fridge and leaves one of the bottom drawers open, so I keep saying, "No, baby, get out of the fridge, I have an apple, no, baby nooooo, close the drawer, close the drawer." 

So I think he finally gets it and gets out of the fridge and tries to shut the door, not listening to my "close the drawer, close the drawer!" 

So the fridge door bangs into the drawer, I could see the whole thing breaking, and I was upset that he didn't obey me, so I ran over there and spanked his hand and told him no again. He cried pretty hard and ran off. 

All the sudden, I felt horrible about what I did. 

Okay, I know that all parents don't spank their child, but we believe in it. The Bible teaches that it is good and necessary for them if you don't want them walking down the wrong path! (Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 29:15, Proverbs 23:13-14, Ephesians 6:4) We don't want to hurt them, but we believe it's the best way to teach them. 

But this spanking on the hand...well it just didn't seem right. It seemed unfair. I had expected too much of Kyler and was mad at him for not closing the drawer. In my mind he didn't obey me, but in fact he DID. He got out of the refrigerator and proceeded to close the door like he usually does. He's not had much experience with the drawers in there before. 

Writing this, it sounds like nothing. But it made me think how I rely on him so much. He's become this obedient, protective, sweet, funny, independent big brother and I ask him to do so many things for me for his age.  He's capable of a lot. But he's still two years old. I think I forget that sometimes. Kyler has always seemed older to me than he is. 

I immediately got down on his level and said in a soft voice, "Kyler? (He had run off and had his back to me, crying) I'm sorry baby...that was mommy's fault.  I expected too much of you...will you forgive mommy?" 

I didn't really expect him to come back. When I try to talk to him while he is upset, he usually runs away until he gets over it (which doesn't take very long). I also thought he wouldn't really know what I was saying exactly...a lot of new, big words! Apparently...he understood though. It was the sweetest thing. He turned around and as I was finishing up talking, he came to me and sat in my lap and gave me a hug.  Cue the tears! 

I told him how I've really started to rely on him for things. That's when I said that I could see us probably having this talk a lot in the future...I can see Kyler always being the obedient, protective, sweet, funny and independent big brother and oldest son/child.  I have a feeling I will always rely on him but I don't want to keep making the mistake of expecting too much from him to where it will hurt him.  I want to challenge him, yes, but I don't want to expect so much as to get on to him when it is not his fault but mine! 

I learn a lot from my kids and they aren't even trying to teach me.  

Today it's peanut butter on the face, and little talks like these. Tomorrow, it'll be bigger things. I can't handle any of the seasons without letting God be in control. I am so thankful for His guidance!